Welcome to a new year! Here's an interesting thought: self-control is linked to success (numerous research studies support this), but willpower may not be the way to go and, in fact, may actually be detrimental to our health. (A study by Greg Miller, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, showed that forcing yourself to "power through" increases stress that negativity impacts you both physically and psychologically.) As 2017 came to an end, I decided that rather than making new year's resolutions, instead I'd watch others make them and I watched person after person fall victim to a pattern that I knew very well: high hopes of change and then crashing into pile of failure. I stopped making resolutions because in the end, they typically made me feel bad about myself.
So, how exactly are we supposed to develop self-control and succeed? There are people doing it, so what's the deal here?
Well, after doing some research I have come to the conclusion that those who succeed have more than sheer willpower. As sappy as it may sound, what they ultimately have is love. People who succeed at making their lives, both personal and professional, into something amazing have connections with the world around them. They have an appreciation for life and they don't just feel they need to "power through" anything, because they understand that they need to invest in themselves and in those around them. They get joy from this present moment because they choose to see it. This allows them to be okay with putting off the gratitude of a brownie that would break their diet or an expensive outfit that would impact their savings.
So, what does this mean in terms of becoming the best version of ourselves possible? Well, it means we should consider the following:
Lynne M. Smelser, Ph.D. is an expert in communication. Her speciality is helping people to look internally to find barriers. Over the years she has helped companies create dynamic content and open communication channels. She also has assisted many individuals in overcoming communication anxiety and developing projects such as novels, memoirs, and ebooks.